Blog : And so it goes:

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3/15/2024 3:41 pm

And so it goes:

My life has changed radically in the recent past in that I've become a widower. For those of you who don't know my history, my wife was bedridden for some 20 odd years prior to her death. And even before that, she always had a lot of ambivalence when it came to sex. I always felt the conflict between the need to be loyal to her, while, at the same time, satisfying my own needs. I'm sure I'm not anywhere near the first person to face this dilemma. But now, I'm faced with the question that I ignored in my younger years: The truth is that the fantasy of sex is very different from the reality of sex within the constraints of a relationship. Sex is important for me (and many, many others), but a relationship is important too (probably more than a purely sexual relationship, especially later in life.) I had to square that circle somehow. I probably did a piss-poor job of it, but now I find myself looking for a relationship with sex on the side. It'll probably be a while before I'm even ready for that, however.