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Giving Up No, I'm not giving up, but am thinking about the concept of how much one gives up of oneself for relationship. How much should you give up? When I was married, I thought that I had to give up all of me to show my love. My goodness, there was a LOT of love there, but no me. I learned this from my mother who, after my dad passed, decided that remarriage would not be for her because she'd already been someone's , someones' mother, and someone's wife. It was time for her to be ... her! I feel much the same way. Being able to be myself is quite a blessing. What I am finding though is that being me, taking time for me, is a blessing for relationship too. It appears that it is taxing for a partner, not just me, to have me give up my life for their's. When I am me and do my thing and have my interests, it brings diversity, color, and enjoyment to a relationship. My friend and I can enjoy one another's company, differences and similarities with pleasure. Why would I want to give that up in the name of a committed relationship? Can't a relationship be committed without committing the people involved to giving up the selves that they found intriguing and fun in the first place? Seems to me that staying unique is one way to ensure there is laughter, interest, and, well, something to do! So today this comes in the email and it matches my thought. (Oh my gosh, I might be on to something!): You love your partner and naturally you want to spend as much time as possible with him. But a healthy relationship is built upon two individuals. The spark of attraction that brought you two together in the first place needs a little room to breathe. Ironically, by collapsing your two lives into one, you may end up tearing your relationship apart. 
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Hmmmmmmmmm 
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8/15/2006 8:41 am |
You must always love yourself first, and never give up what makes you, YOU! You share time together, but you must have time apart to persue individual friends and growth. Gosh it would be boring if you only spent time with one another. love moony
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8/15/2006 9:42 am |
The one who is jealous, inferior, or inadequate attempts to smother the other. Who needs it?
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