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My Mother Passed Away Last Night I received a call last night from my telling me that my mother had passed away in her sleep. She was staying with my brother and when he didnt see her up and about in the morning as was her usual, he looked in on her to find her already gone. My first reaction to the news was "Mothers are supposed to live forever, she has no business dying on me". Then the tears started, I do realise that I am cying more for myself than for her as she has gone to a better place. Born October 20 1933 (2nd day of 9th month in lunar calendar) Left July 31, 2006 (7th day of the 7th month) Dutiful wife and wonderful mother to 4 boys and 1 girl We were poor but she went without many things so that us could have the best that was affordable. She protected us from rumors and gossip mongers when our marriages failed. To her, her were always good and right in everything, we could do no wrong and even if we were wrong, she and only she had the right to admonish us. She is the only person in this world to love me unconditionally. I was a very sickly due to her atempts to abort me even when she was already 5 months gone because she didnt want another boy. Due to this and maybe because I was the youngest and only girl, I was protected and spoilt to the core. All the times when I was down and contemplating suicide, thoughts of my mother was the only thing that held me back thinking that she has had a hard life and doesnt need the heartache of seeing her die. She was the only person in this world to believe in me and to want me to be happy above all else. To hear this coming from an Asian mother is very exceptional "Dont worry about what people say, just be happy, that is all that is important". She was the only thread that bound us siblings together, with her gone, we are like the leaves blowing in the wind, each going our own way. My elder brothers and I have not been close for more than 14 years, so I realise that now it is more than just saying goodbye to a mother, it is saying goodbye to all in the family. I have always thought that we Asians handle grief better but now I realise that there is no grief greater than this. I just feel an empty aching feeling deep in my chest and feel like I am suddenly all alone in this world. I know I am not making much sense but somehow writing about it helps the tears flow more freely and I hope that after a while they too will stop. |
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8/1/2006 10:46 am |
Shirl, Please accept my sincerest sympathy. If there is anything that I can do for you PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME...YOU HAVE MY NUMBER. Hon, all I can say is take comfort in knowing that she did not suffer, and she is in a much better place. Please remember hon I am here if you need me, I love you, Shirl. Take care and God Bless You. Love and Hugs~Pam  and  ~Pam & SunshinePain & suffering are inevititable, but misery is optional.
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8/1/2006 10:51 am |
Gosh, my condolences, I understand what you are feeling. MOM left me Valentines Day Please just accept a big HUG, for that is all I can do from here. love moon
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8/1/2006 11:23 am |
Shirl, If you want to IM me again later today, feel free to do so I will be here. Please get some rest hon, you have been up all night. Love You, ~Pam and ~Pam & SunshinePain & suffering are inevititable, but misery is optional.
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8/1/2006 12:59 pm |
Hugs and prayers for you and your family Shirl. My condolences to you all.....Ruth
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8/1/2006 1:01 pm |
hugssss Shirl..my sincerest condolences to you and your family...
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8/1/2006 1:37 pm |
My Sincere Condolences
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8/1/2006 4:02 pm |
I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My praryers are with you and your family. Love you Grow old along we me. The best is yet to be. Robert Browning
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8/1/2006 5:01 pm |
I am so sorry for your loss. I'll add you in my prayers...Take care.
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8/1/2006 5:15 pm |
Darling....I remember the call you recieved from your son....and the tears and the emotions that flowed afterwards...I am so sorry that I have nothing more to offer you than my love,my shoulders to cry on,arms to hold you close and comfort you,and ears to listen to all you want to say,I truly would do more if I could....my love for you will always be there for you and you know that I will always be there if you want or need me for anything anytime of the night or day.I wish I could take away some of the pain that I know you're holding inside...even just a little of it so that you wouldn't have to bear it all. And as others have said in answer to your blog Darling....you know that your mother has gone to a much better place and she will always be watching over you and loving you. Love you Sweetheart...and I always will. Ted
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Shirl: My MOST Sincere Condolences and prayers. Words are never enough. Take comfort in knowing she had a full life and that she is sure to know how much her family loved her. God Bless you. Bruja and Chato The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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8/16/2006 4:17 am |
So sorry for your sad loss Tweety, just read your blog now. Condolences to you and your family. I know the pain you are going through. Hugs to you.
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8/16/2006 8:33 am |
Shirl My heart goes out to you at this time, but believe me it does ease eventually. You will always come across something that will trigger the tears but it will begin to hurt less and less. Thinking of you at this time.  Silk
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Tweety...it may not be very comforting, but I offer you a warm hug anyway. I and so very many others can relate to the pain you are feeling right now. Loss of a loved one can't be measured by how old the departed one is or how they are related to you...but by the LOVE you have for them and they for you. I've always believed that. That love will keep you together always. I wish you strength to get through this. PrairieSky
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8/16/2006 5:36 pm |
My deepest sympathy for you and your family over your loss. God got himself another angel.Cherish the love you will always have in your heart.May God Bless you all. .Sassy
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8/17/2006 12:42 pm |
Shirl My heart goes out to you . Believing she is gone to a better place helps to ease the pain and that she passed peacefully is a blessing. Condolences to you and yours. Lulu
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I am also sending my sympathy. Losing one's Mother is like losing one's self. The "rock" is gone. Hugs to you...Ann
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8/19/2006 5:29 am |
Shirl, I'm sorry about your loss... you said it yourself... She was the only person in this world to believe in me and to want me to be happy above all else. You already know that your mum will always be with you and that she wants you to celebrate her passing over to the next life... you are familiar with the ritual. Going in her sleep was the most beautiful ascension... You will always have your mum's love and you also have Ted's love to help you with your grief. You and your family are in my thoughts... lots of love - Judi
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8/24/2006 8:05 am |
Shirl....So sorry to hear about your Mother. I am sorry for your "sorrows" at this time. Time will heal your broken heart. Families sometimes come closer together at times like these. This is my wish for you, with regard to your brothers. Barbie
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Amiga Shirl  Biggest hug ever! I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing away. Amiga, my most sincere condolences are sent your way. I'm not good at times like these. What can I say that has not been said before? Just know that I care, even though we have never met. I am glad you have "Sylvester" to share your pain. Lean on him. Always know my friendship, across the miles, sends all the positive energy your way! I had been away from home for a few days and had not come in to seniors for awhile. As I came in I saw this post and was the first post I read. Once again , amiga, BIG HUG!
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8/29/2006 12:14 am |
CONDOLENCES to you and your entire family.. I knew how hard it is to see the one we love to leave us but let's just think that it's time for her rest in the hands of our Almighty Creator..we will all be there in time. Am sure she will be happy with peaceful life ahead of her now and who know she will be your guiding angel in this life. Have my prayer for her for your family. Im sorry for the lost.
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