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Your Oponion? 82 views
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Your Oponion?
I'm finally getting around to posting something. I love reading the info here but find it hard to sit and write. Confession - I keep up with several websites and need to put time limits on my computer time lest I neglect other parts of my life.
Here's my question of the day. As many know my adopted 's mental health issues lead me to use my house as a residence for people in his situation. (I do not live in the house) I have one resident who has been there since the beginning, over 3 years ago. She is a woman in her late 50's, a long term alcoholic with multiple health issues as a result. Currently she is in the final stage of cirrhosis and liver failure. Her prognosis is 6 months - 2 years tops even with the best of care. Of course that means no alcohol.
Like most alcoholics she lives in denial but within the past couple of weeks has come to grips with the reality of her situation. She has cut down on her drinking but not eliminated it.
The medical community is very insistent about stopping drinking all together. My philosophy is why? All it will do is buy her more time in a tortured existence. The damage is done and irreparable and the outcome inevitable. Her only hope for long term survival would be a liver transplant and she is not a candidate for that. My thoughts are that she should just be allowed to live out what time she has left in whatever way she is most comfortable. Becoming sober is very difficult and requires long term commitment and lots of work and pain.
Over the years she has been in and out of just about every recovery program that exists and none worked. My focus with her has been that what she does with her life is her choice. When things didn't go her way I would remind her that the lifestyle she was living was a choice she made every time she choose to take a drink. I would assure her that whatever she decided was OK but that there were consequences and complications to either choice. She had to be willing to accept them.
Since accepting the reality of her situation a couple of weeks ago she is finally agreeing to and complying with medications that make her more comfortable and spends most of her time sleeping. My plan is to allow her the freedom to spend these last days as she chooses, making her as comfortable as possible and pray that the end comes easily without extensive hospitalization.
Thoughts? Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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Is she eligible for Hospice care? | ||
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I too like Walker do not have the expertise to tell one how to live their life when they are nearing the end. If it were me I think I would like to be able to eat my favorite foods and still have my glass of Merlot. I think if it makes her happy then she should just be allowed to make her own choices. | ||
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Thank everyone for the input. In answer to some of the questions raised - this woman has no family. They severed contact years ago. She has no resources and lives on a small disability check (around $1000 per month). She has no vehicle and all of her possessions fit in her room. Anything of value is long gone to support her drinking. Her only close friend is an abusive boyfriend. I don't know what brought her to this condition other than a long term alcohol problem. She is a college graduate and once had the house, kids, dog and the rest of the American dream. She came to my attention via family who are affiliated with the local Moose Lodge which was helping her out as she was a long term member of the organization.
She would be eligible for hospice care and things may come to that. We may take advantage of their in home services if she gets to a point of needing significant medical and personal care but if at all possible the other residents will help out so she can avoid institutionalize care. If she becomes unable to care for herself and uncooperative with and potential care givers I will have to alert adult protective services but that would mean loosing her ability to make her own decisions. None of us would want to end our days that way.
For my choices for myself - I eat what I like but am fortunate to like healthy foods. I drink diet soda bu the gallon, have a drink or 2 when I go out, take the meds that make me feel better and improve the quality of my life, drive my sports car way too fast and furious, smoke pot when I can't relax, go where I want and do what I want even if it is a bad idea and spend my money on things I like and family. In other words my thoughts are just life life and enjoy every day as much as you can. In reality none of us has a guarantee tomorrow. Experience has taught me that even when there is a tomorrow bu the time it gets here it is far different than we imagined anyway. At our age most of us have raised our families and finished careers. If we have enough resources to cover our final disposition we have no further real responsibilities unless we are caring for grandchildren or other relatives.
When the body is failing I am a firm believer in palliative care only.
Again, thanks everyone for your thoughts. I love feed back on the difficult decisions. You never know when someone will add something you missed. Spiritwoman ^i^ | ||
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This question is in fact much larger than the specific topic addressed here and applies to all of us as we, inevitably, approach the final stage of life. The fact that a disease may or may not be self-inflicted is, ultimately, not very relevant. And as to "choices", such as they may be, whose choices are we talking about: the individual (me)?, surrounding family? the medical industry? Given those three, I would say that I decide for myself, so long as I have the mental ability, and when that fails, I hope that those who find themselves responsible for me will honor my living will.
I see a lot of "effort" going into prolonging lives, because we can and therefore we must. But I am reminded of a friend who, at 40 and with a young family, was facing a second bout of lymphoma cancer and decided not to fight the disease: her experience of the first "cure" was such that she did not want to live through a second one.
It should be of some concern that the medical industry (which indeed it is) has a conflict of interest in keeping people alive, given that the greatest medical cost (and, thus, profit...) in the average life is near its end. Thus, the difficult topic of palliative care is too often avoided in favor of expensive treatments that may prolong life, but do little for its quality. We're dealing with taboos, here...
Back to the initial question: this lady has already made her decisions. She may now regret some or all of them and to the extent that she manages to repair some damage, good for her. But, in the end, Spiritwoman, it is not your responsibility or decision, certainly not your guilt and, by what you have reported, you have extended more help and care to this lady than her family has.
Best wishes... |
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