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Lisztomania 67M
11051 posts
6/19/2017 11:57 am
"BLINDED BY TURDS"


Since the themes of the day seem to be vernacular music, scatology, and the way some of our bloggers re-package their excreta as blogs, my mind's ear harked back to a tune recorded by Oscar Brand with the elegant title "Blinded by Turds." The name Oscar Brand may not ring a bell, but he was an indefatigable collector of folksongs and a longtime radio show host in NYC. (By birth he was a Canadian Jew.) The rollicking 6/8 folksong probably has Irish roots, but in the American version the luckless hero of the song is a "cowpoke."

The cowpoke's sad fate is that he is the accidental victim of a lady who has taken too many laxatives to aid her digestion. As Brand sings it:

"She ran to the window, stuck out her ass
Just at that moment a cowhand did pass
He heard the strange noise, so he gazed up on high
A mighty big turd hit him right in the eye."


Followed by the refrain:

"Toorala, tooralay
A rolling stone gathers no moss, so they say
Sing along, with the birds
It's a wonderful song but it's all about turds."


The tragedy deepens:

"Oh he ran to the east and the west
When a further consignment arrived on his chest
He fled to the north and he fled to the south
When a bloody big turd hit him right in the mouth."
REFRAIN

And his sad ultimate fate:

The next time you walk over Flatriver Bridge
Look out for a cowhand asleep on the ridge
His chest bears a placard, whereon are these words:
'Be kind to a cowboy who's blinded by turds.'"
REFRAIN

As I pondered this sad ballad, I began to see it as an allegory for this blogsite on many days. We the readers are collectively the poor cowpoke, and the blogger from Southeast Virginia is the wretched lady seeking to unstop her trapped excreta. In the last couple of days this blogger has put on a clinic -- in a succession of blog-turds, he has presumed to lecture fathers, gun owners, Trump voters, and indeed anyone who does not embrace his own standard of enlightenment.

My dad was a walking fund of slang from the WW2 era, and he would sometimes cryptically remark "I got hit by a BLIVET today," and we were forced to guess by context just what a BLIVET was. Finally when I had reached my majority, I said, "OK dad, what exactly is a BLIVET?" His response: "10 pounds of sh*t in a 5 pound bag."

It might not be unfair to describe Leaf as a renewable BLIVET.




Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 12:00 pm

Bombs away, leaf.


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 12:04 pm

Check out Gordon Brand's "Blinded by Turds" on yoo toob. It was a great favorite in my college dorm.


Lisztomania replies on 6/19/2017 12:42 pm:
CORRECTION: It is Oscar Brand, not Gordon.

RubiSleepinBuuty 62F
973 posts
6/19/2017 12:26 pm

Yootube lists him as Oscar Brand. But, a real foot stomper, also Charlotte the harlot.


Unsafe_Sax_54 62M
1028 posts
6/19/2017 12:32 pm

"He took a dog-doo snow-cone and shoved it my right eye. He took a a dog-doo snow-cone and shoved it my other eye".

Frank Zappa: "Nanook"


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 12:40 pm

    Quoting RubiSleepinBuuty:
    Yootube lists him as Oscar Brand. But, a real foot stomper, also Charlotte the harlot.
Yes, my mistake, Ruby, it is Oscar Brand. Thanks for the correction. (Gordon Brand is a golfer.) "Charlotte the Harlot" was also a great favorite in my college days.


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 12:41 pm

    Quoting Unsafe_Sax_54:
    "He took a dog-doo snow-cone and shoved it my right eye. He took a a dog-doo snow-cone and shoved it my other eye".

    Frank Zappa: "Nanook"
It seems this theme has been explored extensively in the arts!


jiminycricket1 67M
7420 posts
6/19/2017 1:33 pm

There another saying don't eat where you poop!


sparkleflit 69F
691 posts
6/19/2017 4:01 pm

The allegory is much more fitting if the "lady" is Maisie.......She sure pours out a pile of crap every day ......every day....another pile.....just as smelly as the day before.........repetitious ordure........and you rubbing your nose in it with delight...........Why am I not surprised that that this is your chosen medium of expression?..


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 5:06 pm

I agree with the old saying, but not sure how it applies here. I would say Leaf shoul avoid eating a pork chop while blogging.


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 5:07 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    The allegory is much more fitting if the "lady" is Maisie.......She sure pours out a pile of crap every day ......every day....another pile.....just as smelly as the day before.........repetitious ordure........and you rubbing your nose in it with delight...........Why am I not surprised that that this is your chosen medium of expression?..
They say there is honor among thieves -- I see that there is also solidarity among trolls.


MrsJoe 70F
5301 posts
6/19/2017 5:18 pm

Well, your taste in music during that period of life was certainly, shall I say, smelly? But perhaps does aptly apply here some days. LOL.
The beauty in the blogs is that I don't have to open and read any one I chose not to read, and I am learning the fine art of ignoring comments that try to insult and bait me in other blogs.


Every day is Easter for me!


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 6:57 pm

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Well, your taste in music during that period of life was certainly, shall I say, smelly? But perhaps does aptly apply here some days. LOL.
    The beauty in the blogs is that I don't have to open and read any one I chose not to read, and I am learning the fine art of ignoring comments that try to insult and bait me in other blogs.
"I am learning the fine art of ignoring comments that try to insult and bait me in other blogs."

I need to try to emulate your example. There are certain blogs on which a sane person does not tread. And I have done so occasionally, to my regret.

In classical mythology, the musician Orpheus antagonized the Thracian women, and they tore him from limb to limb. I should also profit from that cautionary tale.


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 7:02 pm

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Well, your taste in music during that period of life was certainly, shall I say, smelly? But perhaps does aptly apply here some days. LOL.
    The beauty in the blogs is that I don't have to open and read any one I chose not to read, and I am learning the fine art of ignoring comments that try to insult and bait me in other blogs.
Happy birthday! I meant to say.


Maisie2013 65F
14772 posts
6/19/2017 7:12 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    The allegory is much more fitting if the "lady" is Maisie.......She sure pours out a pile of crap every day ......every day....another pile.....just as smelly as the day before.........repetitious ordure........and you rubbing your nose in it with delight...........Why am I not surprised that that this is your chosen medium of expression?..
Speaking of turds in the punch bowl.....


sparkleflit 69F
691 posts
6/19/2017 7:28 pm

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    Speaking of turds in the punch bowl.....
As usual, all you have is a cliche......


Maisie2013 65F
14772 posts
6/19/2017 7:35 pm

This ditty must have Irish roots. There is something about the way the Irish can take a rather offensive subject, and turn it into a charming song worth dancing to.

Irish tunes get reincarnated a lot with different words.


Maisie2013 65F
14772 posts
6/19/2017 7:36 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    As usual, all you have is a cliche......
I always know the right thing to say. It's a gift.


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 7:46 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    The allegory is much more fitting if the "lady" is Maisie.......She sure pours out a pile of crap every day ......every day....another pile.....just as smelly as the day before.........repetitious ordure........and you rubbing your nose in it with delight...........Why am I not surprised that that this is your chosen medium of expression?..
I hadn't thought of it, but the lady who sticks her arse out the window and craps on people sounds more like you than Maisie. You always take something said in jest and move it beyond the realm of humor into something ugly. You have no ear for tone.


MrsJoe 70F
5301 posts
6/19/2017 8:55 pm

Thank you. It's been a busy but enjoyable day and Joe took me out to supper at one of my favorite places, so that was the icing on the cake..... except I didn't get any cake. Does flan count?

Every day is Easter for me!


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/19/2017 10:57 pm

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Thank you. It's been a busy but enjoyable day and Joe took me out to supper at one of my favorite places, so that was the icing on the cake..... except I didn't get any cake. Does flan count?
Flan will do ... sounds like you went to one of those fancy Frenchie places. I am taking Maisie to Ruth's Chris Steak House tomorrow... I'm so good to her!

[Please don't tell her we have to sit through an investment seminar to qualify for the free dinner. ]


Maisie2013 65F
14772 posts
6/20/2017 3:53 am

    Quoting Lisztomania:
    Flan will do ... sounds like you went to one of those fancy Frenchie places. I am taking Maisie to Ruth's Chris Steak House tomorrow... I'm so good to her!

    [Please don't tell her we have to sit through an investment seminar to qualify for the free dinner. ]
Reminds me of the friend I had in the 80's whose boyfriend was always bringing her flowers. She was touched until she found out he was friends with a guy who delivered flowers to hospitals. If the patient checked out or died, the flowers were tossed or reduced. He got most of his gifts for free.
But hey- a free meal is a free meal.


MrsJoe 70F
5301 posts
6/20/2017 4:42 am

    Quoting Lisztomania:
    Flan will do ... sounds like you went to one of those fancy Frenchie places. I am taking Maisie to Ruth's Chris Steak House tomorrow... I'm so good to her!

    [Please don't tell her we have to sit through an investment seminar to qualify for the free dinner. ]
Your secret is safe with me!
Nah, no fancy French restaurant for me..... I've never even been in one. Just a nice little Mexican place in town. On the square, we get our choice of Chinese, Mexican or a pizza parlor, with a fantastic salad bar. By the highway, we get the choice of Hardees or McDonalds. Oh, and there is a diner on the south side of town too, but we never go there because we have that throw back place we like just up the road about 20 miles.
But not too bad for a town of 4,400 country folks.


Every day is Easter for me!


Lisztomania 67M
7757 posts
6/20/2017 9:05 am

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Your secret is safe with me!
    Nah, no fancy French restaurant for me..... I've never even been in one. Just a nice little Mexican place in town. On the square, we get our choice of Chinese, Mexican or a pizza parlor, with a fantastic salad bar. By the highway, we get the choice of Hardees or McDonalds. Oh, and there is a diner on the south side of town too, but we never go there because we have that throw back place we like just up the road about 20 miles.
    But not too bad for a town of 4,400 country folks.
Your choices are almost as varied as we have in Chattanooga, except we have 100 Mexican restaurants, 50 Chinese places, and 80 pizza joints. And that's about it, although we do have quite a few BBQ places, and a handful of expensive joints.