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Tormenting Times! Tormenting Times! My friend always believed in what Abraham Lincoln once said about the common people. Lincoln said as under: “Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.” Keeping in the mind what Lincoln said, my friend always endeavored to develop friendly relationships with common men and women irrespective of their cast or creed throughout the life that he had spent so far! His choice did not go wrong till few days back when he was shocked to discover that his choice of a person may finally turn up as a wrong choice made by him four years back. Yet he hopes that it would not turn up as such as they still seem to like each other very much in spite of the fact that the contents of her recent text to my friend has put his life into a state of utter confusion. He had chosen this person from a social site soon after he got himself registered in the site as advised by one of his overseas banker friend living in Canada. The chosen one was a lady who greeted him eagerly on the third day he visited the site. He however, can’t tell now why he liked the lady so much after reading her first few words posted on the chat screen without looking at her picture even! When he ponders now on the words spoken by this wonderful lady on the very first day they met in the chat room of that site, he can safely say that his judgment was probably based on the assumption that the lady must be one of the common women with whom he could exchange views! However, he feels now that it was unwise for him to make a hasty decision at that time! He thinks now that he should have waited some more time to ascertain whether they two believe in same things that would take them hand in hand ultimately to their destination together! He does not blame his friend for what she told him because he believes that she has the right to tell what she thinks as correct even if her views may not be acceptable to common people who value relationship between a male and a female some thing as sacred and different than what she believes. He tried his best to make his lady friend agree with him that cross- sex friendship and cross sex emotional relationship is completely different and as such the later should be given more importance and priority for obvious reason if the pair wants to remain emotionally involved with each other. He talked more than three years on the subject from time to time with his lady love but in vain. He now believes that he has failed measurably to make his friend agree that when a man and a woman spend more time with each other, they seek to develop a kind of “Chemistry” between them in order to cement the bond of relationship to last until the end of their existence! My friend now knows after receiving her friend’s mail why he failed to convince his lady friend to accept his views that all must give preference to preserve emotional relationship over friendship. All the times, during the last 1226 days, they talked and talked hours together but never succeeded to understand what the two wanted so long from each other! All my friend’s life, he wanted someone to make his world beautiful and not someone who thinks that she is beautiful in the world and as such she is unwilling to prevent others irrespective of their numbers to make her world beautiful by loving and adoring her! The purpose of my putting up this article is to understand whether opposite sex friendship of one partner should be overlooked when two such persons of opposite sex are also involved in emotional relationship with each other! May be, some of the readers of this article can say a few words to make me understand the whole thing! This article has nothing to do with my friend’s lady friend as he respects her even though he had been unable to accept her contention that both the partner should be allowed to develop cross-sex friendship, especially when one of the two is adored and liked by many people of opposite sex! In view of what have been stated in the foregoing paragraphs at above, tell me please your considerate opinion on the problem! Should we accept the friendship between men and women without any question when one of these two could also be grossly involved in emotional relationship with someone else beyond the knowledge of either his or her friend or lover? What should be the bottom line in such situation according to you? Being human beings, could we continue at all for a longer period in opposite sex friendship without the possibility of catching either feelings or awkward moments?       |
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Your views on the subject will be highly appreciated!
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If I am reading your blog correctly, are you asking if a man and a woman, in a relationship, should have friends of the opposite gender? That is a difficult question..... it depends on the relationship. Is it like a living together couple, or married? Or just dating? Or long distance? Generally, I would say that a partner in a relationship can have opposite gender friends, if the other partner is totally aware of it and there are boundaries on those friendships. For instance, I have a couple of male friends. We talk on the phone and text each other, but my husband is usually in the room, joins in the conversation and I read him the texts. When I get together with those male friends, it is always in the company of my husband. I value those friends, and it doesn't matter that they are men. However, if one of the partners seeks out friends of the opposite sex, in a more romantic, flirtatious setting to bolster his or her ego, then no.... something is wrong. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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Mrs. Joe, You are absolutely correct. You got everything right and have analyzed the problem threadbare. I agree with your views expressed at above. Thank you so much for taking interest on this blog of mine. Take care and stay cheerful always!
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