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Sociological study on Death and Dying This post is only viewable by YoungAtHeart members. Join YoungAtHeart now! |
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2/18/2011 1:09 am |
Hi Sam: I was about 5 and my little cousin died unexpectedly just hours after leaving our house. I was trying to get answers but no-one would talk about it. I felt confused and guilty and terrified of dying and still am today. Don't believe in heaven or hell, just blackness and claustrophobia in a coffin or an urn. Very scary and depressing.
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2/18/2011 6:23 am |
Thank you all for your input. They were all unique and will help alot. My first dealing with death was my best friends Mom . I was 14. It was surreal and bewildering to me. How could someone walking and talking one day be lying in coffin looking so beautiful and alive.the next? It was bewildering to me. Death was foreign to me. Then my Dad died suddenly the following year. I was 15. He was my best buddy. We did everything together (I was a tomboy) and suddenly my whole existence was pulled out from under me. Again, totally surreal and not understanding or accepting. I could not wrap my mind around the concept at all. Some say that people who live on farms see death as a natural transition of life stages. They see animals die all the time. This was totally alien to me being a city girl and only seeing a dead Moth in our yard once! When me, my sister and Mom were told I immediately went to throw up. I vaguely remember my sister banging her head against the wall and wailing. I have no idea what Mom was doing. I had remembered my girlfriend's Mom's death one year prior and her brother going outside after they got the news and mowing the lawn. I grasped that idea and fired up the lawn mower and with tears streaming down my face cut the lawn. It soothed a little doing a simple repetitive task. The first viewing was hell. We timidly entered the room (me holding down the vomit) and began earth moving crying and crying. I held Dad's hand and kept telling him to come back. My mind could not conceive how those hands, so familiar were cold and un-moving. It was unacceptable. If I yelled and cried long enough he would surely stop this from happening. He had always been there when any of us girls needed a rescue from something. Surely, he could beat this "death" thing. Since then my life was totally altered. The once happy gregarious, outgoing girl was now secluding herself from usual life activities. I went thru them slowly as if I was in a dream state. After Dad, all grandparents passed in the next 2 decades. All family has passed except my sister and Mom. I try not to go to viewings anymore. Even if the person was not known to me, I usually get hysterical and have to leave. I truly was traumatized by this occurrence and for the next 10 years religiously cut the lawn at our family cemetery and spent time with Dad. Lots of crying time too. I had a little protestant religious training growing up. Church sermons in those days (60's) did not offer the correlation bridging the Bible text to everyday issues. In later life I started teaching myself more of Jesus's word and have found semi closure but not total. I doubt I will ever get over the horrific blow my inner being took. The pain is duller but still lodged in my heart. Movie's about a close one dying will send me out of the room wailing. My daughter, who has a psychology minor says I have post traumatic stress syndrome manifesting anxiety disorder. Years ago it was not popular to see psychiatrist so I dealt with the issues alone. Death? I ask God to help me have a stronger faith in him and his power to take us to his home after dying. I am not afraid. My biggest fear is what my daughter's will have to go through. We are as close as me and Dad were. Thank you all for your replies. Keep the stories coming with any additional family stories. 
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2/18/2011 7:06 pm |
Yes, we had to write 10 one page accounts on various topics as I've listed. Now, a 20 page paper combining all process's and accounts. It is interesting.
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2/18/2011 8:55 pm |
I remember you from chat. You were posting that women from the Lobby were giving you a hard time and stating that you like to mess with people and exchange words. (saying things that were mocking people) you were calling yourself a hillbilly..... Hi Sam, how are you?
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2/19/2011 5:04 am |
Hi, yes that was me. I was just messing with some. They couldn't take it though and don't like me. YAYA is the worst if you read my other blog! I'm good, and you?
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2/19/2011 10:58 am |
~ We are all, just dying to...live. ~ There is irony is pain, and knowledge in Ecstasy.
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2/20/2011 4:57 pm |
I am sure I will take some flack for this but it is what i feel. I was given a chance to (step off the planet) for a while and watch it turn in front of me and was (given) the reason we are here which is to learn the important things our souls need to know to continue on its quest. This is with Gods grace and guidance. our souls acquire more on the (physical plain) we call life. We work to acquire more knowledge each time we come back to this physical plain and we will be able to see God. I sure don't know but I think that is the path. No I am not afraid of dieing but I'd rather wait a while. spirit
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