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Observer I took time out to observe myself.I spent two hours and thirty three minutes observing everything I did. I noticed the intensity with which I watched the short documentary on the nomadic lifestyle of a mongoloid family. I observed the undivided attention I gave to the artistry of putting on make-up. I noticed the care and smoothness with which I washed my hands. I noticed how 'properly' I ate my meal, enjoying every bite of the delicious lamb-chop I so lovingly cooked for myself.I also observed the relaxing sensation of the steamy bath I treated myself to.Then I stood in front of the full length mirror in sheer nakedness and observed my body. I had to remind myself I was there NOT to judge but to merely observe.My eyes got misty as I stood face to face with my body-myself!It was then I realized that we spend so much of our time and energy in critical judgement of and non- acceptance of own ourselves.It is this that we project out in the world and 'bitch' about the world and its inhabitants, namely people, not being 'good' to us.I noticed tears trickling down my body and suddenly I felt immense compassion and love for myself.I laid down on my bed and for the first time, I felt the softness and smoothness of the pillow under my head.I lay there and observed my cat, cleaning herself so passionately and cautiously.She came over to me and tenderly licked my wrist, hissed a little at her reflection in the full length mirror, to which, I burst into a hysterical laughter.I observed how I was laughing. Here I was, laying naked on the bed, all by myself, laughing so hard! I realized that it is in the most mundane activities that 'life' resides. God is not in the bible, happiness is not in other peoples approval of us and peace is not in 'everything working out'. If we stop to observe our own lives, even for a few minutes, we realize that we indeed are perfect, blessed and complete, just as we are. What do you think? |
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6/10/2010 11:42 am |
scragger, your 'opinion' has truly touched my heart.Yes, I, like you, also believe self-observation can possibly lead one to 'self-loathing' etc. It was in one of those 'moments' that I had no other option BUT to take time out and observe myself for a certain amount of time.Your photo screams the loving soul deep within you, and, I hope you realize that.Thank you for your comment. You cheered me up and nothing beats extending love.Thank you and I wish you well.
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