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More Than a Dog We all love our pets and many of us consider them our family but sometimes they are much more. My ’s died last week. Although the was elderly he was not in poor health. He just seemed to be getting more and more lazy and tired. One morning, after a particularly lethargic night, my took him outside. The got a drink of water and just passed peacefully in my ’s arms. Most wish for such a peaceful end to our pet’s life. However, my ’s case was different. He has a mental health disability and the was his primary attachment. Around the time he returned home after failed attempts to live independently a litter of puppies were abandoned at a construction site. “Cutter” came to stay with us until we found a home for him. My bonded instantly so even though we already had 3 dogs in the household we kept him. For the past 14 years Mike and Cutter were inseparable, together 24 / 7 except for the times Mike was hospitalized. The was getting old and showing it (he was 14). I was concerned about how Mike would deal with Cutter’s eminent passing. It was far worse than I thought. He would not put the down. He held him and cried all day (imagine a 6’4’ 300 pound scary looking guy with a shaved head guy in tears nonstop). The last time I had seen him this distraught ended in an admission to the psychiatric hospital. It took 2 ½ days to get him to let go of the dog’s body. That was a week ago and he is still so depressed someone has to keep a constant eye on him and the number for the crisis team on speed dial. Cutter was far more than a dog. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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9/30/2012 4:23 am |
Im sorry sdpirit. I wonder if you could get your son a new dog that would be suitable for him, and he would bond with. I was watching a clip on U-Yube last night aboutan autistic child who bonded with a beautiful big brown soft labrador, and it was a joy to behold. Its so sad for your son, and indeed for you.
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It is always sad to lose a much loved pet, but I guess it is understandable that your son should take it so badly. I hope he is soon able to get over the loss, maybe another puppy would help? Alfie...
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What a terrible event for your son to have to go through!! I sincerely hope that he will come out of this, and possibly eventually bond with a new friend. Hugssssssss!!!
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9/30/2012 9:15 am |
Wow Spirit This is really sad and my heart goes out to you and your son. I agree with the others who suggest getting another dog. But I think you have to figure out the best amount of time to wait before you do that. I can't say how long it should take. I just mention it here cause I think he may need some time to grieve first. It may be that getting him one immediately is best. U'd know better than me. GBU, Gavin GREETINGS EARTHLINGS! I COME IN PEACE! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER. Klatu, baraba nicto.
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How very sad for your son and for you to watch his grief.
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9/30/2012 10:10 am |
Wow Spirit This is really sad and my heart goes out to you and your son. I agree with the others who suggest getting another dog. But I think you have to figure out the best amount of time to wait before you do that. I can't say how long it should take. I just mention it here cause I think he may need some time to grieve first. It may be that getting him one immediately is best. U'd know better than me. GBU, Gavin Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:12 am |
I am so sorry to hear that...I hope your son is doing better..I was with my friends this evening, they had to put one of their Labradors to sleep a couple months ago, we all went through very sad times. Tomorrow we are taking the reminding dog 'Edison' to the beach, such a pleasure to see all these dogs of different race and size enjoys and have so much fun together, something we humans should acknowledge and learn.. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:14 am |
Im sorry sdpirit. I wonder if you could get your son a new dog that would be suitable for him, and he would bond with. I was watching a clip on U-Yube last night aboutan autistic child who bonded with a beautiful big brown soft labrador, and it was a joy to behold. Its so sad for your son, and indeed for you. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:15 am |
It is always sad to lose a much loved pet, but I guess it is understandable that your son should take it so badly. I hope he is soon able to get over the loss, maybe another puppy would help? Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:19 am |
Thank you for your thoughts and definitely another puppy. If he doesn't seem too open to that in a couple of weeks I plan to do the "lets go to the shelter" and show him all of the dogs that need him. Also right about always feeling our children's pain. Being a mother is a lifetime committment and since I adopted Mike knowing his handicaps I doubly signed on for that. I still believe that being a mother is the greatest reward the universe gives to us and women definitely have the advantage here. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:21 am |
What a terrible event for your son to have to go through!! I sincerely hope that he will come out of this, and possibly eventually bond with a new friend. Hugssssssss!!! Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 10:22 am |
How very sad for your son and for you to watch his grief. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Spirit: So sad to hear about your sons loss. People with disabilities regardless of the type of disability have an extremely difficult time adjusting to the death of a loved pet. Definitely they are not just a pet or just a dog. Far from it. These animals have such a bonding with their master that is not easily replaced with another pet. Your experience and background give you many tools to know what to watch for. But being it is someone so close to you makes it much more difficult to deal with. Most of us do not know the whole situation so all you can do is trust your gut as how best to handle. Hang in there and know you have many friends here you can vent to if nothing more than to listen. Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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9/30/2012 1:02 pm |
Spirit: So sad to hear about your sons loss. People with disabilities regardless of the type of disability have an extremely difficult time adjusting to the death of a loved pet. Definitely they are not just a pet or just a dog. Far from it. These animals have such a bonding with their master that is not easily replaced with another pet. Your experience and background give you many tools to know what to watch for. But being it is someone so close to you makes it much more difficult to deal with. Most of us do not know the whole situation so all you can do is trust your gut as how best to handle. Hang in there and know you have many friends here you can vent to if nothing more than to listen. Bruja Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 1:07 pm |
I am sure many people can identify. It's the unconditional love that our animal companions give us - something we seldom find elsewhere. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/30/2012 1:10 pm |
Thanks for sharing a great idea. Making progress much as you suggested. We finally did get him to agree to bury the dog after 2 days. His GF who loves flowers planted a large rosebush over it. It's right next to the place where my granddaughter's cat is buried and marked with a stepping stone she made. There are several pets my children had when they were young buried all around the property. The ritual of burial helped they understand the death process. I have always wondered what someone excavating the property years form now might conclude. Spiritwoman ^i^
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I'm sorry to hear this, Spirit. Agree with the suggestions of others. Perhaps what you're thinking would be better for your son: take him to the shelter and make him feels there is someone who needs him. Many blessings to you both.   Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
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10/1/2012 6:11 pm |
I agree about the rescue dogs. I usually had 2 - 3 dogs at a time and they were either rescues or foundlings. I actually only went out and got one dog ever. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/1/2012 6:15 pm |
I'm sorry to hear this, Spirit. Agree with the suggestions of others. Perhaps what you're thinking would be better for your son: take him to the shelter and make him feels there is someone who needs him. Many blessings to you both. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/1/2012 6:16 pm |
It is difficult. I have a friend who has put his entire life on hold for the past 6 weeks just trying to get another day or 2 for his dog. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Answer is another dog but when is the key question. Answer, perhaps, will come from your son himself. It is so sad - some dogs mean so much humanity to us humans. Our best wishes to your son - hope he is ready to adopt another dog soon. "To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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