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Rules for Calling Your Date By Sarah Fielding You've got their phone number. Good for you! Now what? Here's how to ace the art of calling a date. The First Call In some ways, making the very first phone call is a lot less stressful than making a follow-up call after a date. After all, you've been given a clear green light to proceed. You've probably spent some time getting to know each other online. And now you are advancing to step two. Who Calls? It's 2008: either the guy or girl can make the first move. Keep in mind, though, that whoever does the asking for the first date should probably also do the paying. Or at least offer to pay for the first date. When to Call, Part I Now is not the time to be shy or to play hard to get. If a prospective date has given you their number call them at the earliest, most appropriate opportunity. Now, I can't speak for everyone, but unless you know someone's day-to-day routine, it's probably prudent not to call before 9 am or after 9 pm. What to Say? Start off by letting your new friend how much you've enjoyed getting to know them online. If you're the one doing the calling, make sure you've got a particular date idea in mind, so after the pleasantries have been exchanged, you can say, "Hey, there's a great new organic café that's opened in my area, we should go for a coffee sometime." Remember, if you've already got their number, they are unlikely to turn down your invitation. Getting the Beep If you happen to go through to voicemail on your first call, leave a brief message but never ask for a first date unless speaking to a real, live person. It's just too impersonal. Don't blather on; just leave your name and number and ask them to get back to you. Simple. The Follow-up Call Hopefully at the end of a successful date, you've been able to suss out whether there's a possible second date on the horizon. With any luck, you'll have been given a clear indication that a second date would be most welcome. Now, all you need to do is close the deal. When to Call, Part II This is one of the biggest issues in dating today. Calling too soon -- say, as you're on your way home from the date -- makes you seem desperate and possibly creepy. Calling too long after the date (any longer than three days is remiss) makes it seem like you don't really care. Ideally, you should call to follow-up and enquire about a second date one or two days after your first date. What to Say? Gushing endlessly about what a great time you had then hatching plans for next Christmas together are massive turn-offs at this early stage. When making the follow-up call, stick to positive, relevant comments about your first meeting. Then let your date know you would like to do it again sometime. Simple as that. Call and Call Alike When engaging in early phone exchanges with a date, a good rule of thumb is to make sure you don't call them more than they call you. No, this isn't one of those ridiculous 'rules' of dating. It's just common sense. You don't want to come across as needy or stalker-ish, so keep the 'call and call alike' rule in mind as you're reaching for the phone. Leaving a Message It's always nice to speak directly to the person you've called but in these hectic times, we sometimes encounter voicemail more frequently than real people. Whether to leave a message or not is a tricky one. If you're confident that you can leave a message without rambling like a lunatic, then do so. If this is beyond you, just hang up. They'll notice the missed call and hopefully get back to you. Leaving Another Message? Hmmm. Things seemed to go so well on the date. But now you've left two messages and still no reply? Don't write them off completely but don't call them again either -- and certainly don't ring demanding to know why they haven't returned your calls. Rather, just play it cool. If they do get back to you, and you're still interested in seeing them again, it's your call. |
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3/27/2008 7:51 pm |
Very good advice. Belle...This was writtem by a woman, posted by a guy.
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