| Blogs > starwomyn > un·a·pol·o·get·ically STAR!!! |
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Dealing with On-Line Bullies When dealing with an on-line bully don't respond, don't interact and don't engage. This is not easy but it is doable. The first response to want to defend yourself but it is counter-productive to communicate with a bully. The bully does not function with the mindset of a mature adult.. The bully may be an adult on the outside, on the inside they are like ill-mannered who's never grew up - and probably never will. Bullies and harassers often have disordered thinking patterns. Keep documentation of the abuse in a file. When the time comes to take action, this file is your evidence. Bullies, especially cyberbullies, are obsessive people and if their account is closed down, they may start another profile so expect to receive harassing messages from that profile. This can later be compared to harassing messages already received to identify the bully. There will be similar words, phrases and strategies occurring. Don’t try to deal with the bully yourself. Even mature experienced adults often cannot handle bullying and harassment by themselves. Get a third party to intercede and take the bully to task. When people use bullying behaviors they project their own weaknesses, failings and shortcomings on to others. In other words, they are telling you about themselves by fabricating an accusation based on something they themselves have done wrong. When you are being harassed on-line, ask the question, "What is this person revealing about themselves this time?" When the timing is right, take action. Prepare carefully and strike hard. Ignoring the bully may cause them to lose interest and find an easier target to torment but don't count on it. The cyberbully may obsessed to the point that that s/he cannot and will not let go. You will have to make that person let go, but only through swift, hard, action. It is best not to deal with the abuser yourself. never try to mediate, negotiate, conciliate or otherwise deal with a bully or stalker yourself . Always remember Rule #1: don't respond, don't interact and don't engage. Ignore Button, Ban Button and Report Abuse  Abracadabra  |
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5/25/2006 2:51 am |
GREAT BLOG starwomyn!  And if any SFF member is feeling threatened in any way, please send me an email. I have experience in getting member profiles DEACTIVATED for harassing and abusing ANY other SFF member.
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5/25/2006 2:54 am |
You are very right... DON'T ENGAGE! God Bless You!
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5/25/2006 5:36 am |
You have to laugh if it isn't so ironic. Here we have the great SFF moral accuser, judge and jury offering his experienced services to get any SFF member deactivated for what he may see as being abusive to other members. Why don't you start with yourself, Donald? Your abusive, highly insulting and way over the top slandering of a couple of filipina women is about the most hypocritical example of abuse I have encountered here yet. I am sure if anyone here in SFF feels the need to take action against anyone else that person would be quite capable in doing so him/herself without your meddling. Just because you are a "gold" member it doesn't give you any more experience, rights or reason to behave in the boorish and condenscending manner you have already so admirably displayed (and can I add cowardly as well for not even daring to respond to my previous admonishment to you via Pinay's blog). Get off your perch, you don't deserve to be there. I totally agree with Starwomyn. It's the correct action to take. And we know who to start with now, don't we ....
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Wow Star! Great blog! You hit it on the nail! Do not engage!
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5/25/2006 7:21 am |
Best advice in THIS CYBERWORLD!
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5/25/2006 10:07 am |
Laugh it off, ignore, & go on. It is all about mind control.
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5/25/2006 2:31 pm |
STAR!!! But what's the fun in your tactic? I enjoy the "Meet me at the corner after school" approach. Besides, the bullying has definately abated on the site and since doc was kicked off by our protector. I know that I have certainly learned my lesson as well.
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5/27/2006 6:24 am |
Being a very close friend of YAYA, she has confessed to me that she made EVERY mistake you speak of..........AND PAID DEARLY.........the good part is that the "other" person also did herself in at the same time..........SFF got sick of the "other" person and all the rubbish he/she was sending them......... and banned them both permanently........don'tcha just luvit? Lesson learned?...........DO NOT ENGAGE.......(no matter how much the "other" one trys to get underyour skin)........NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Frequently, if you ignore the other party's abuse will esculate........this is just what is needed to them to get themselves booted. Lesson learned?...........DO NOT ENGAGE is absolutely correct .......(no matter how much the "other" one trys to get under your skin once you start putting them on ignore, the harrassment will esculate and they are the one who gets booted)........ It is easy to get in trouble yourself when dealing with a cyber=bully. I've learned these lessons myself. Abracadabra
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1/21/2010 9:03 am |
Star: Great blog. Since I am currently the target of many attacks, I will try to ignore the comments instead of defending myself as I have been doing, and, if necessary, I will ban those folks who continue to harass me from commenting on my blogs. So far, I have only banned one person -- namely, the woman who began the attacks on me. It is said that if you don't like the fire, get out of the frying pan, yet sometimes you just don't feel like doing that. So, I will have to remember: ignore, ignore, ignore, and, if that doesn't work, take some action. I celebrate myself today. I am alive and growing. I will strive to be the best I can be each and every day.
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