| Blogs > starwomyn > un·a·pol·o·get·ically STAR!!! |
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X-Mas Trauma, Losses & Alicia Got Her Star!!! I am not one of these Happy, Joy, Ho Ho Ho, Merry X-mas type persons. Usually, it's Bah Humbug!!! the Grinch is my buddy type attitudes. Somewhere I read that X-mas is dysfunctional families getting one roof in hopes that no one calls the cops on them. There usually drama in my family during the holidays. We were in Germany when my parents brought my brother home for Christmas. A week later, my Mum ends up hospitalized for post partum depression. I remember being on the train with my dad, four siblings including my just born brother. We boarded a plane back to the states. Our Mum stayed behind in Germany and returned to the United States a few months later. So FlFTY TW0 years later, my brother is diagnosed with cancer and gone a few days before his birthday. A month before, my best friend died of cancer. I took a plane to California. I able to help her partner because I know the challenges that a surviving spouse had to deal with. I just found that another long time friend died a few days before Christmas this year. I remember when Alicia wanted become a deputy sheriff. I decided to go through the testing process with her even though I know that I would never become a sheriff. The written test easy but the agility test included climbing over a SlX feet wall, going through several windows, running a quarter of a mile and dragging a l5O pound dummy lOO feet. We would go the testing site and practice. My major challenge getting over that wall. I talked to local cops on how to do it. I actually dating a sheriff deputy at the time. I finally made it over the wall on the of the test but that about it. My timing for the rest way off. Alicia easily passed the agility test but there were other obstacles. Fast forward a few more years. She got married. I got married and we lost touch. X-mas of 1995. My husband had a heart attack on Christmas Eve. My former Father-In-Law had a heart attack and died on Christmas . I called Alicia's Mum who one of my Spiritual Advisor. Her husband, Alicia's father also died on Christmas. My husband still hospitalized but I opted to go to the funeral. Alicia spoke at her Dad's funeral and never got the chance to tell her Dad that she finally got her star. She made it into the Sheriff Department. Frequently, Life is not fair.  Abracadabra  |
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The only thing I really wanted to do is make it over that SlX foot wall which I finally did. It would have been a real shocker if I really did pass all the tests to become a Deputy Sheriff. Abracadabra
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Good for you to get over that six foot wall !! That was a physical challenge. We also have emotional & mental challenges that we tackle.... some on a daily basis, and some monthly, yearly, or always. For many, the Christmas season is not a time of joyful remembrance and we need to remember to be kind to those we meet, and touch base with those we know are struggling with the deaths of dear ones. Warm and Gentle Hugsss~~~ 
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I love Christmas, but I don't go over the top celebrating, I enjoy a nice quiet family time. Christmas can be a time of sadness and remembering loved ones no longer with us. I see you have had more than your fair share of those, Star.  Well done you on making it over that wall. 
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I always told my kids that nobody ever said life would be fair. Losses and tragedy at holidays, especially Christmas seem to be amplified in our minds, and the memories more so over the years. That is why I have to remind myself many times that Christmas is not about me, my losses or emotional condition. It's not about shopping, buying, or any of that other stuff. It's about the birth of the Christ child and worth celebrating. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. May you enjoy good memories of her. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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